Don’t be Afraid of the Truth 

“Excuse me for saying this, but… but I don’t believe in that…” 

When he said this, it looked for a moment like he was frightened. It wasn’t clear if he was frightened by the words that he himself had spoken, or whether he was afraid of my reaction; perhaps I would be hurt by what he had said, perhaps I would be angry at him… 

My smile confused him even more. He had just said that he doesn’t believe in what I had told him, and in return he had been given a warm smile. What’s going on here? 

I smiled, because the moment he had said the truth and had placed it squarely on the table, only then could I help him. 

Not everyone is courageous enough to tell the truth, but only someone who knows the truth and recognizes it and faces it bravely – only he can be helped. As long as you are living with a lie, there is no chance that you will understand what your problem is; and without knowing the problem, there is no chance of solving it.  

His words helped me understand something essential: Many people come to me to be empowered and hear from me “Believe in yourself”, “You are good”, “Hashem loves you” – even if they nod in agreement and seem to be encouraged, in the depths of their hearts they don’t believe in all those statements, as this Jew told me outright: “I don’t believe in that”. Such a strengthening that comes without true belief will not last long. 

Whoever Believes – Changes 

It is clear to me that many of those who do feel connected to words of empowerment are afraid to admit that in the depths of their hearts they don’t really believe in them. How do I know so clearly that they don’t truly believe in them? Because someone who truly believes these empowering statements, and truly believes that Hashem loves him, and believes in himself completely – experiences a 180-degree change in his life! For sure! There isn’t any chance that he won’t change for the good! 

Over the years I’ve seen people connecting and enthusing and even repeating those sentences and empowering other people, but it’s all about having these ideas “on your heart” – only “on” it, not inside it. They want to believe in those statements, and that’s good – but they’re not there yet.  

And it was the person who told me that he doesn’t believe in these empowering messages who made me not only repeat them, but also search for and find and teach the practical way to live these statements truly, inside one’s heart, how to make these statements penetrate the heart and bear fruit, which is the main thing! That is the purpose of everything I have the privilege to teach other Jews. Not to add “information”, but to bring about a real, practical change in every Jew and in the Jewish People as a whole. 

How Does One Change? 

The same way it’s not enough to understand intellectually how damaging smoking is, rather, this understanding has to bring you to make practical changes, namely, to stop smoking in practice – so too it is pointless to say that Hashem loves you and to think that you believe in yourself and to understand intellectually that Hashem knows you are good; rather, you should live and feel Hashem’s love, you should really know without a doubt that you are good, no matter what is happening to you – nothing should be able to make you budge from this truth. 

That’s what you should be aiming for! The big question is how does one do it? How does one acquire heartfelt knowledge? 

I asked myself: All these statements that Hashem loves every Jew and that you should believe in yourself are so sweet and so strong, so catchy and so enlivening for the soul – what is still bothering the heart so much that it cannot accept and internalize them? 

The answer might not be so encouraging, but without knowing it, we will never be able to change! It is when you know it and accept reality that you will find it easier to focus your avodah (spiritual work) on the central point that will bring us to make a real change in our lives. 

It is now, before Rosh Hashana, that we need to focus on the main points, which if we correct and acquire them will bring us to do teshuva and to truly change our deeds for the good! 

Change Your Way of Thinking 

So, back to the question: Why is it hard for us to believe in ourselves and in Hashem’s love for us? 

The simple answer is that the nature of human beings is to think negatively. People always notice and emphasize the bad, while minimizing the significance of the good. That is our nature. We will always be disappointed by any small bad thing much more than we will rejoice from good things however great they may be. 

That is why our bad feelings will usually be stronger than the good feelings – and nothing can hamper one’s forward movement and one’s ability to change for the better more than that! 

When you understand that, then the conclusion is obvious: 

In order to change your way of thinking and to accustom yourself to thinking positively, to have an ayin tova – a positive outlook – on yourself and on others, to be thankful, to ignore the negative things when necessary, to see the good and beauty in yourself and in others and to judge yourself favorably – for that you need to work! It won’t happen naturally, because it would mean going against your nature.  

Being positive is the opposite of nature, but by working on it it is definitely possible to acquire the ayin tova and the belief in the good, and to change our nature! 

If someone really wants to change, then acquiring positive thinking and the belief in himself is the first thing to work on. That is the idea behind the famous Torah, “Azamra”,¹ in which Rabbeinu was adamant in telling us to go with that Torah all the time, because that is the beginning and the basis for any advancement in life. Without this, nothing will work. 

You Have Been Accepted for the Job! 

Rabbeinu Hakadosh, Rabbi Nachman of Breslev, knew that by nature we are the exact opposite – we tend to ignore all the good and see only the bad; to always think that we are wicked and to torment ourselves, while ignoring all the wonderful aspirations we have and all the immense things that we do. That is why he called upon us to make use of all our resources to make an inner change. What change? To stop seeing the bad and start seeing the good, to accustom ourselves to do this day after day, and to pray for it, and repeat it to ourselves until we truly change our nature. Yes, just like that. 

It could be that you understand that Hashem loves you, that you identify with the need to believe in yourself, that you feel connected to all this talk about your good points, and you even talk about this and empower others – but be real: You don’t really believe in this, because if you indeed believed in this you would experience what Rabbeinu says in Torah 282: “Very soon, the wicked will be no more; you will look at their place to find them gone”²; in other words, you would become a complete tzaddik! 

From this we can understand that it is not enough to just understand – it must be done in practice! One must pray for this, devote time to searching and finding good points, listen repeatedly to empowering speech, search for positive things in ourselves, see our own beauty, stop judging ourselves harshly even if we have fallen and failed, believe in our aspirations, see our aspirations. 

In short: Empowering oneself is a profession, a career, and we all must work at it 24/7. 

Focusing on the Main Point 

Everything, everything, everything begins from this, and everything depends on this! Every Jew is now full of wishes and good aspirations: he wishes to change, to do teshuva, and to turn over a new page. But if we continue to go along with our nature – always criticizing and seeing the bad – we will have no chance of sticking to the good in the long term and very quickly all our good resolutions will evaporate. 

So, don’t get confused: During these critical days before Rosh Hashana, pray and work and focus on making this deep and inner change – begin to believe that you are precious and important, and that Hashem loves you and knows that you are good, and sees every good aspiration of yours, and is happy with every good deed you do. “Brainwash” yourself with such statements until the heart is cleansed of all negativity and will indeed begin to believe in the good. 

And then, any good resolution you make and any process of improvement in your life will be maintained for many years to come, and it will even be much easier! 

On this Rosh Hashana, let us really renew our minds and our hearts and in that merit, we will have a year of true spiritual elevation. Wishing you a good and sweet year!

Editor’s Notes: 

¹ Likutei Moharan, Section 1, Torah 282 

² Tehillim (Psalm) 37:10