Don’t Cut Your Soul!

“You shall surely send away the mother, and the young you shall take for yourself, so that it will be good for you, and you will have long life.” (Devarim 22:7) 

The Same Fish Store 

There were two Torah scholars who in lived in Jerusalem. One was blessed that all his children grew to be righteous and God-fearing, while the other was not so fortunate. 

The scholar whose children had strayed was deeply troubled. What had gone wrong? he wondered. In what way was my approach to raising them different from my friend’s? After all, we both sent our sons to the same school from their earliest years. Both our homes were steeped in reverence for Heaven. Outwardly, everything seemed the same—so where did I go wrong? 

Seeking clarity, he went to his friend and said, “I want to try and understand why my children strayed from a life of Torah and mitzvot.” 

The two sat down and carefully went over every detail of how they had raised their families, point by point. Eventually, they uncovered one small but telling difference between them. Though it seemed minor, they both concluded that here lay the seed of great divergence in the lives of their children. 

What was it? 

Both men bought fish from the same store, where the shopkeeper wrapped the fish in secular newspapers. The first scholar had a rule in his home: the moment such a package was handed to them, the newspaper was discarded on the spot—before they ever set foot inside. The second, however, would carry the fish home still wrapped in the newspaper, and only once inside would he throw the paper away. 

From their earliest years, the children of the first scholar absorbed a clear lesson: anything written by those who had cast off the yoke of Heaven must be cast aside at once. It was not to be held onto even for a moment, and certainly not brought into the home. Over time, this response became second nature to them—a deep instinct to keep far from harmful outside influence. 

The children of the second scholar, however, were not shaped by this same awareness. 

The Cause of Rebellion 

This is also the reason that during the “enlightenment movement” the tzaddikim warned Jews not to even touch the books that they were publishing; works that were infused with impurities and opinions that were poisoned with heresy which could plant seeds of doubt and erode one’s emunah, faith. 

In practice, the difference was clear. Those who heeded the warnings of the tzaddikim succeeded in raising upright generations. But those who dismissed the danger, thinking it posed no threat to themselves or their children, lived to see their descendants falter and deteriorate—to their deep and bitter sorrow. 

These influences lead countless Jews astray. The Kedushas Tzion of Bobov comments on the sentence that we say in Selichot of Erev Rosh Hashanah: “If they rebelled, pardon them, from the multitude of times and days.” He explained that if chas v’shalom, they rebelled, the cause was “from the multitude of times and days”—from the multitude of periodicals and daily newspapers. 

On Erev Pesach, the Ateres Yeshuah of Dzikov asked that all the boys of the city gather up the books of the maskilim (the “enlightened”), and at the time of burning chametz he burned them. When he returned home, he recited a special prayer saying, “Just as I have come to burn these external and heretical books, so too may Hashem remove the hidden enemy from the sons of Israel—especially from the precious youth, in whose hearts and minds the ‘enlightenment’ has found a nest, and whose thoughts are confused by the evil inclination.” He even wrote this prayer down and asked that it be printed. 

Against Their Fathers 

The Yismach Yisroel of Alexander zt”l, also warned against reading these books in a letter writing as follows: 

“There are fathers who, out of love for their children, overlook what their sons and daughters study, thinking little of it. But they do not understand the end result: once the children are filled with this impure learning, they will afterwards betray their fathers, closing their ears to their cries and tears, forgetting all the suffering their parents endured to raise them. 

“They will follow only the desires of their hearts, turning publicly from the ways of Torah and ethics to the shame of their parents. For the beginning of their downfall was the abominations of those impure books, which transform them into cruel ones—even against their own fathers—and strip away the mask of shame from their faces.” 

Don’t Cut Your Soul 

Chazal taught, that causing someone else to sin, is worse than killing them. Sin blemishes the eternal soul. 

A Chassid once came to the home of the Beis Yisrael of Ger carrying a bundle tied with a rope. To protect his hands from cuts, he had wrapped a secular newspaper around the rope. The Rebbe refused to allow him in until he threw the paper away, saying: “Better the hands be cut than the soul be cut.” 

Just as any parent would summon all their strength to snatch away a drink suspected of containing deadly poison, how much more must one act when the very life of the soul is at stake. A father who truly loves his children must, with unwavering resolve, banish such dangers from his home. 

Blessed Generations 

This hinted in our pasuk. 

The word “אם” (“mother”), when vocalized with a chirik (“im”), means “if”—a term of doubt, as in “if this is true.” It represents doubt and confusion. 

Thus, the verse says: “שלח תשלח את האם” — Send away, cast far away, the ‘if,’ i.e. anything that brings doubts and confusions in faith. Then: “ואת הבנים תקח לך” — and your children you shall take for yourself, meaning they will remain yours, not drifting away from the path of their fathers. “למען ייטב לך והארכת ימים” — so that it will be good for you and you will have long life, for the greatest good and joy is to see upright, blessed generations, and this brings long and truly good days. 

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The Kalever Rebbe is the seventh Rebbe of the Kaalov Chasidic dynasty, begun by his ancestor who was born to his previously childless parents after receiving a blessing from the Baal Shem Tov zy”a, and later learned under the Maggid of Mezeritch zt”l. The Rebbe has been involved in outreach for more than 30 years and writes weekly emails on understanding current issues through the Torah. Sign up at www.kaalov.org.