Resonating Love

Translated from Rabbi Arush’s feature article in the weekly Chut shel Chessed newsletter. The articles focus on his main message: “Loving others as yourself” and emuna. 

The Starting Point: Love 

It is hard to believe, but another year is coming to an end: Elul is about to begin. 

What do you hear in the word “Elul”? What do you feel? If the word “Elul” conjures in your mind a feeling of unease, a sigh, then we have in this essay very good news for you.  

It’s true that the word “Elul” makes a great many people uneasy. They feel guilty, they think of the sizeable file of their life, full of things that they would much rather ignore and issues they really want to repress and not go into. Indeed, it’s a very unpleasant feeling to go into the past and look at all our weaknesses and failures.  

But the truth is that the word ‘Elul” holds within it the sounds of love. Indeed, it resonates with great love. ‘Elul’ is an acronym of Ani ledodi vedodi li – a pasuk  that expresses the deepest and most complete connection between the dod (the beloved one) and the ra’aya (the wife), between Hashem yitbarach and the Jewish People. 

Before approaching the task of teshuva (repentance), slichot (prayers asking for forgiveness), and self-rectification – before thinking of trying to correct the whole year we’ve just lived through – before all of that, we must start off with love being the starting point.  

Not for nothing is our parsha, parshat Re’eh, always read on the Shabbat when we bless the new month of Elul – or else it falls on Rosh Chodesh itself: it is in this parsha that we read the sweet and wonderful pasuk: “You are children of Hashem, your G-d!” 

We are not employees who submit a report or take the inventory and fill out annual financial reports. No! We are, first of all, children who are returning to their beloved Father and renewing the relationship and the love with Him, like a couple that leaves behind children and work and goes off on a vacation to strengthen the relationship between the two of them and renew the love. 

That is the month of Elul!  

Teshuva Out of Love 

This point makes a big difference to the mitzvah of teshuva, in theory and in practice. 

Because when a Jew “forgets” or doesn’t do enough to live the fact that he is a son returning in teshuva to a beloved Father in Heaven, he may sink into deep despair. It is very difficult to pull oneself together when facing “mountains” of faults and spiritual problems. 

We have already brought the midrash on the pasuk, “And you will return to Hashem, your G-d”¹ at the beginning of the year, and now is the time to bring it up again. The midrash says: 

What is this like? It is like a prince who fell into bad ways. When this prince was still in the palace, the king appointed a governor to be with him all the time. And even after the prince had fallen into bad ways, that governor still maintained his contact with him. So, the king sent a message to his son through the governor, saying to him: “Return, my son.” 

 

The son told the governor to tell his father that he is very embarrassed to return and beg forgiveness because of all the distress he has caused his father, the king. He said: “With such a face I will leave my bad ways? I am ashamed to face you.” The king heard the reply and asked the governor to tell his son: “My son, is there a son who is ashamed to return to his father?! And if you come back, aren’t you returning to your father?!”² 

The midrash explains the idea behind this parable: “In the same vein, the Holy One, Blessed Be He, sends Yirmiyahu to Yisrael when they have sinned, and tells him: ‘Go tell my sons to return’… and Bnei Yisrael were saying to Yirmiyahu, ‘With this face we return to the Holy One, Blessed Be He? … As it says, ‘We wallow in our shame; our disgrace envelops us; we sinned against Hashem our G-d’. And the Holy One, blessed Be He, sends a message back to them: ‘My children, if you are returning, aren’t you returning to your Father?!”  For it says, “For I was a father to Yisrael”. You said to me at Mount Sinai, “And my inner self longed for Him.” So I too say to you: ‘Is Efraim not a precious son to Me, a delightful child?… Therefore, My inner self longs for him, I will show him great compassion, declares Hashem.’³ ”² 

The midrash is saying that the condition for doing teshuva, the first step, is to know that Hashem is your Father, Who loves you with eternal and never-ending love, in any situation, unconditionally; and therefore, you are always welcome, like a son by his father. Father is always waiting for you to return to Him, and He is always willing to accept your teshuva, and if you will only want to do teshuva and take the first step – Hashem, Father in Heaven, will do everything to help you. 

Reprogramming the Brain 

All one can do is to pound this idea relentlessly into the heart. We are so used to thinking of Hashem as a policeman, like someone who is always searching for our faults. For so many years we have been self-persecuting, feeling small and lowly in our eyes, thinking that Hashem looks upon us like we look upon ourselves, so there is no choice but to repeat endlessly to ourselves that we are beloved children in any situation.  

The Vilna Gaon writes explicitly that the Jewish people are beloved children even when they don’t have any good deeds to their name, and even when they distance themselves from Torah, and even when they fall into sinning. 

True, acting like that is not right, and one must do teshuva. But that has nothing to do with the fact that you are a son. The Vilna Gaon says that that is what the Gemara says: Habakkuk came and established [all of the commandments] upon one [statement]: “The righteous man lives on by his faith.”⁴ Even if you have abandoned all the Torah, do not lose the simple and straight faith that you are a beloved son of Hashem in any situation. That way, you will never despair of doing teshuva, and you will manage to rectify everything.  

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done; it doesn’t matter how much distress (so to speak) you have caused your Father in Heaven; it doesn’t matter what depths you have sunk to; it doesn’t matter how many years you have been mistaken and have distanced yourself and involved yourself in foreign cultures; it doesn’t matter what you have caused with your bad deeds and how much evil you have brought into the world; it doesn’t matter what you think about yourself – nothing matters! Hold on to emuna (faith): Know and believe in a complete and absolute belief that Father in Heaven is willing to forgive you in one moment for everything, because a father is a father, and a father always loves, in any situation. 

You have no idea what the heart of a father is! Not to mention that of our Father in Heaven! 

Father in Heaven Himself says that same sentence: Just make contact, just show your willingness to come home – and I will forgive all, I will show you all My love, I will give you the opportunity to turn over a new leaf!! 

Father, Bring Me Back 

The more we feel how much Hashem loves us, the more we will be able to arouse ourselves to connect to Hashem yitbarach with love and yearning. The despair and the shame we feel blocks our yearning; whereas knowing that Hashem loves us opens the heart and increases the desire and yearning that we so badly need to do complete teshuva. 

Rabbi Natan explains the passuk in Yirmiyahu – “From afar Hashem appeared to me: I have loved you with an everlasting love, and thereby drew you close with loving-kindness”⁵. 

This prophecy was said about the end of the galut (exile) of recent generations, that in spite of there being a great feeling of distance, still, Hashem will never abandon us and will always love us, which is the main consolation and hope – that even in the furthest away place, if we know how much Hashem loves us, it will be possible to enhance our aspirations and our yearnings so they become complete teshuva, and even from there, Hashem will return us with love and mercy. 

When we know how much Hashem loves us, we will be able to increase our good aspirations until we will be able to abolish all the inhibitors and reveal all that is hidden, and it is particularly from the failures that we will rise to the utmost  heights and to the complete Geula (Redemption), and from all the sins and misdemeanors and from being far from Hashem, we will merit the ultimate closeness. 

Last week we wrote that when a Jew turns to Hashem, saying: “Abba, You love me, help me,” – his prayer is accepted on the spot. And how much more so, when a Jew is asking Hashem to help him do teshuva! 

You are not saying “Abba, help” for nothing; rather, you want to be a good son! You want to do teshuva and correct your deeds! You want Hashem to forgive you and help you be a good son, a son to His liking – how much more so will Hashem certainly be willing to forgive you and accept your prayer and help you do teshuva, and you will have endless Heavenly help with your teshuva and tikkun (rectification). 

And so, during the days of Elul, this is the prayer we should be saying: “Abba, you are our father, you want to bring us back to you through teshuva out of love; help us be good sons, do teshuva and rectify everything and become truly close to You.” 

May we have a month of complete teshuva, resulting from great love! 

Editor’s Notes: 

¹ Devarim (Deuteronomy) 30:2 

² Midrash Devarim Rabba 2:24 

³ Yirmiyahu 31:19 

⁴ Habakkuk 2:4 

⁵ Yirmiyahu 31:2