To Vanquish the Fear

Translated from Rabbi Arush’s feature article in the weekly Chut shel Chessed newsletter. The articles focus on his main message: “Loving others as yourself” and emuna. 

Questions or Fears? 

They came to me. I listened to all the information and understood that it all fits – even perfectly! All I had to do was to bless the couple that they will establish a kosher and faithful Jewish home. They left, smiling and happy, and therefore I was very surprised when that very day the young man returned, looking very unhappy. All of a sudden many questions had popped up. He had doubts and was very hesitant about getting married.  

I knew that all these questions were not real. Everything was good, there were no questions. The questions were just excuses. The young man was simply afraid. He didn’t trust himself. He didn’t have the confidence to embark on the journey… 

This is true not only when it comes to getting married. I am frequently consulted about buying an apartment or about starting some business or other. The person has checked out everything, all the numbers work out, and still, something is stopping the person, and the deal falls through. Everyone has “reasonable explanations”, but the truth is that what’s inhibiting them are the fears and all kinds of imaginary scenarios and lack of faith in themselves. The explanations are simply a coverup for the great fear.  

Fear is lack of confidence, lack of bitachon (trust and confidence). If you have checked everything, and it all seems reasonable, and yet you are still fearful and hesitant – your task is to strengthen yourself from the inside – to strengthen the trait of bitachon and believe in yourself! 

Why are people afraid that they will not succeed? Because they feel small and weak, vulnerable and helpless, unworthy, unsuitable, etc. etc. 

There is only one solution for this: to know that Hashem is with you, and that He loves you and you will have only good and even better! 

No Jew is Weak  

There is a sentence that says: whoever is afraid of the One, is afraid of no one; and whoever is not afraid of the One – is afraid of everyone. In the same way we can say: Whoever is connected to the One fears no one. 

What are you afraid of? Hashem is with you! You are not alone! You are not a poor, miserable wretch! Hashem is with you! 

“Though you may seem small in your own eyes, you are the head of the tribes of Yisrael”¹ says Shmuel Hanavi (Samuel the Prophet) to Shaul Hamelech (King Saul). If you are small – it’s only in your own eyes and your own view. Change the way you view things, and you will understand immediately that you are a king, head of the tribes of Yisrael. 

Every Jew is a prince. Every Jew is great and important and dear to Hashem. Every Jew has tremendous potential. Every Jew has limitless power. There is no room for a Jew to feel poor and miserable. There is no room for a Jew to have low self-esteem and not believe in himself and not know and recognize the tremendous power he has inside him.  

How can we be so sure? Because Hashem is with us! Hashem is with you! Just like Hashem has no limitations, so too every Jew who is connected to Hashem has no limitations and can have everything and achieve tremendous material and spiritual success. 

This feeling of smallness is very dangerous, and it causes paralyzing fear, a fear that stops the person from succeeding in life in all realms, materially and spiritually.  

That is why the trait of bitachon is so important, because it removes the main barrier that is preventing you from achieving your own happiness, following your own destiny, establishing your own home, changing completely for the good, starting a successful business, disseminating Judaism, bringing people closer to Hashem, giving Torah classes, engaging in useful activities and influencing the world. Without bitachon you are paralyzed! Without faith in yourself – your inner fear will stop you, will not allow you to move forward and experience successes. 

The Basis of the Mistake 

From where do we learn all this? From this week’s parasha, Shlach Lecha. 

The Meraglim (Spies) were very great people, leaders of their tribes. “They were all leading men, heads of Bnei Yisrael.”² Like Shaul Hamelech who was “head of the tribes of Yisrael”. They are the leaders. They are the people who were meant to lead the Jewish People forward to the fulfilment of its destiny, to reach the Promised Land, to complete the process of Geula (redemption).  

And what actually happened? Instead of imbuing the people with confidence and leading them to perfection – they did the exact opposite. They scared the people, they instilled them with cowardice, stopped them, and prevented them from reaching a harmonious life, and caused them to suffer the decree of remaining in the wilderness for years! 

Pay attention to what the Meraglim said to the people, the words were so clear and described the dangerous and ruinous feelings of so many people in our generation who don’t believe in themselves: “We looked like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we were in theirs”.³ And their conclusion: “We cannot go up against those people, for they are stronger than us.”⁴ It’s “too much” for us to handle. 

And things didn’t end here. All the people sat down and cried. Their despair was so great that they wanted to die! “If only we had died in Egypt, if only we had died in this wilderness!”.⁵ And they didn’t calm down – they even accused Hashem of wanting to kill them! And they decided to return to Egypt. What was happening here?! 

See how dangerous this is: It’s not that your fears and your shattered self-image don’t allow you to move forward and reach happiness – they even take away from you all desire to live and cause you to fall back several steps. 

The root of the sin was the lack of confidence that led them to feel small and miserable. Speaking unfavorably about the land was just the result. That is why all the people were punished, because all of them had reached the same feeling of misery. By the Jews, the result of this feeling was the crying. But the root is the same root, and that is the problem. 

Hashem is With Us – Don’t be Afraid of Them! 

Now, let’s see the cure for this difficult disease. Yehoshua and Calev came and objected vigorously, and their main claim was: Hashem is with us! We have no cause for fear! And not only that, but Hashem loves us and wants us! 

“If Hashem favors us, He will bring us into this land, a land flowing with milk and with honey… Do not rebel against Hashem, and do not be afraid of the people of the land, for they are no more than bread for us. They have been stripped of their protection and Hashem is with us. Do not be afraid of them!” ⁶

When you know Hashem is with you – you have no cause for fear. 

Yehoshua and Calev were not denying the fact that there were formidable giants in the land – but what are these giants if Hashem is with you? They are nothing. You can “eat them” easily, like bread. Their protection has been removed from them, and they have no chance of winning, because Hashem is with us.  

Hashem is With You, Next to You 

So, if one thinks mistakenly that one can succeed in life without the midah of bitachon, the parsha comes and shows us that without bitachon everything is closed to you, blocked. 

There is a tremendous message here: Do you know what keeps you from experiencing your yeshuah (salvation), your joy, your success, your happiness, your vanquishing of your yetzer hara, your receiving new roles in life? The interfering factor is you! Your fear! Those voices in your head that make you not know that Hashem is with you and you feel small and miserable and weak. 

What does this come from? From lack of bitachon, lack of connection with Hashem. You don’t know that Hashem is with you, you don’t know how much Hashem loves you and how much power and unlimited potential are in you.  

And so, with every yeshuah you need – pray only for bitachon! And not only when you need salvation but also before making important decisions, before getting married and before purchasing an apartment. Before great tasks – pray only for bitachon! 

Act and check what needs checking according to common sense, but when you must jump into the water, remind yourself that you are not alone, that Hashem is with you. He is protecting you and accompanying you. “Hashem is your guardian; Hashem is your shade at your right hand”.⁷ Believe in yourself and look up to Heaven; go with emuna and tefilla – and you will reach your rightful place and achieve success, with Hashem’s help.  

Editor’s Notes:

¹ I Shmuel (First Book of Samuel) 15:17 

² Bamidbar (Numbers) 13:3  

³ Bamidbar 13:33 

⁴ Bamidbar 13:31 

⁵ Bamidbar 14: 8-9

⁶ Bamidbar 14:2 

⁷ Tehillim (Psalms) 121:5