Praying with Full Intent

Almost 10 years ago my father ob”m passed away and every year on that same day when I say Kaddish, I say it with a lot of intent, and when I say it I feel closer to him and I know that G-d is listening to my prayer. My name is Shmuel Klein, I am 16 years old and live in Jerusalem.

When you pray to G-d with a full intent and feel that He is listening to you, know that you are not alone. But if a person prays without intent day by day, the result will be that he will stop praying altogether. This will eventually distance the person from doing mitzvot and from G-d, and it could lead to the desecration of G-d’s Name. For example, if people see a religious man talking in the middle of Kaddish, this person can’t be praying with real intent and is guilty of desecrating G-d’s Name.

There’s a source from the prophet Isaiah (58: 3-5), where he rebukes the Children of Israel for not doing mitzvot with proper intent. The Children of Israel complained: “Why, when we fasted, did you not see? When we starved our bodies, did you pay no heed?” G-d answers: “Because on your fast day you see to your business and oppress all your laborers! Because you fast in strife and contention, and you strike with a wicked fist! Your fasting today is not such as to make your voice heard on high. Is such the fast I desire, a day for men to starve their bodies?”

The Children of Israel did not understand why G-d didn’t accept their fast. G-d rejected their fast because they aren’t fasting with proper intent. They fast, but sinned by treating their fellow Jews badly, which means that the fast is not making them repent.

In the same way, when someone prays without proper intent, that prayer will not help him or her connect to G-d.

What happens if a person feels he or she will never be able to pray with proper intent and gives up? What happens to all the prayers that weren’t said with full intent? Are they wasted? My grandfather gave me an example of what happens to these prayers. He said that if someone prays without proper intent, the prayers are locked into a kind of storage in Heaven, where they are not useful. But if that same person says the same prayer with proper intent, the older prayers become useful and are accepted by G-d along with the new one.

There is a section in Exodus 17 when Amalek attacks the Jews in Rephidim. Moses commands Joshua to pick out some men and do battle with Amalek. Moses stations himself on top of the hill, with the rod of G-d in his hands. Joshua did as Moses told him and fought with Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. Then, whenever Moses held up his hands in prayer, Israel prevailed. But whenever he let down his hands, Amalek prevailed.

The Talmud remarks: Can the hands of Moses really cause victory if they are raised? Or defeat, if they are lowered? The Torah teaches here that when the Children of Israel looked up to G-d and humbled themselves before their Father in Heaven, they were victorious. When they did not, they were defeated. From here we learn that a person who prays with proper intent has power, and one who doesn’t, achieves nothing. 

I asked my teacher Rabbi Bikovski from Yeshivas Chedvat Hatorah where I learn, what does he think about praying with a full intent, and what can he suggest to start praying properly. He told me that there is a passage in the Talmud (called a Mishnah) in the section of Berachot (Chapter 2, Mishnah 3), which in summary tells us how to focus, how to concentrate, and to be mindful of what we are doing. Saying the Shema too fast, or skipping words, or reading it with mistakes means that you are not concentrating enough and that is why the prayer lacks intent. Intent without focus and concentration is not possible.

If you find that you are not praying with proper intent, don’t panic. Start small, slowly. For example, pray for something that you need desperately. Remember that G-d listens to every prayer, including yours, except for the ones without proper intent. You can also pray to thank G-d for something that is very precious to you. For example, in my own life, I am grateful to G-d that I have a good family and good friends, and that is something that I can thank G-d for, with a full heart.