A Solution to Conflicts

“When you lift the head of the Jewish people”… (Shemot 30:12)  
 

The Root of the World’s Conflicts 

Chazal taught (Brachot 9b) that if the opportunity presents itself, a Jew should see a non-Jewish king. If he carefully observes that king, he will immediately notice the vast difference between the Jewish and non-Jewish kings and leaders. He will see that the Jewish kings possess a certain quality of refinement and that they conduct themselves with exemplary character traits, middot tovot, while the non-Jewish kings do not. 
 

This contrast is clearly seen in their response to people who insult or disrespect their honor. All these non-Jewish kings and leaders chase personal honor and glory. When their ego is challenged, they seek revenge. The brutality of that vengeance is sometimes carried out publicly or quietly behind closed doors. 
 

This is the root cause of the world’s conflicts and wars. These leaders are unwilling to compromise, even when they suffer terrible damage from the conflict. They are unwilling to compromise, because that can only be negotiated when the parties involved are willing to forgo some of their ego, their personal honor, and to overlook insults. 
 

Jewish leaders, on the other hand, study Torah that teaches them to forgive any insult or disrespect that their honor might suffer. As Pirkei Avot teaches (6:1) when a person studies Torah for Torah’s sake, they become “modest, patient, and forgiving of all insults.” Torah instills middot tovot, fine character traits, in a person. Torah refines their character and changes their behavior. 

The Power of Forgiveness

The Zohar (201a) relates an incredible story that highlights this point: 
 

One time, R’ Abba was sitting at the entrance of the City of Lud. He saw a man who had been traveling, sit down on a ledge that was protruding from the mountainside. The man fell asleep. R’ Abba saw a snake approach the sleeping man ready to strike. However, a creature arrived and killed the snake. The man woke up and started moving along. As soon as he did, the ledge broke off and plummeted to the valley below. Had the man slept a moment longer, he would have surely perished! 
 

R’ Abba approached the man who had been saved from death twice and asked, “What have you done to deserve these two miracles that Hashem has done for you?” 
 

The man replied, “Throughout my entire life, I have absolved any man who had insulted or harmed me. I never went to bed without forgiving all those who wronged me. Not only that, but I committed to try my absolute best to do good to those who harmed me.” 
 

R’ Abba began to cry and declared, “It is fitting for Hashem to perform miracles upon miracles for you.” 
 

Indeed, there are many such stories of tzaddikim who only did good for those who harmed them. 
 

After the passing of R’ Yehoshua of Belz, zt”l, his son, R’ Yissachar Dov, zt”l, who assumed the mantle of leadership after his father’s passing, received a list of people who his father would give money to on Erev Shabbat and Erev Yom Tov. The new Rebbe reviewed the list carefully name by name. And when he came upon one name on the list, he took his quill and crossed it out and said, “I know that this person is not among those who need charity. However, he always harassed and argued with my father. Therefore, my father, zt”l, supported him as an extension of working to refine his character. However, this same Jew has not harmed or tried to undermine me. Therefore, there is no longer a reason to send him money from the charitable funds.” 
 

Once, when R’ Shlomo of Zvhill, zt”l was going to the mikvah, a person stood there and mocked him shouting, “Look! The rebbe thinks he is doing tremendous holy work and changing the heavens by going to the mikvah?!” When the Rebbe left the mikvah, he gave his assistant a sum of money and asked him to deliver it to the home of the person who mocked him with such contempt. And the Rebbe explained, “Why does this Jew care so much about what I am doing? He lost his livelihood and has become bitter, which causes him to yell at me. Therefore, I need to do what I can to help support him and make his situation better.” 

Forgiveness and the Power of Prayer

Through this trait of forgiveness, of forgoing one’s own honor and forgiving those who insult them, the prayers of the tzaddikim have a unique power. Chazal taught (Taanit 25b) that once, when there was a drought, Rabbi Akiva said a short prayer. As soon as he finished, it began to rain and the drought ended. Chazal goes on to explain that R’ Akiva’s prayers had an impact since he was a forgiving person. 
 

R’ Yehuda Tzvi of Rozla, zt”l, was known throughout the land as one who was able to help deliver salvation to those seeking it. He had many opponents who caused him tremendous trouble and suffering. Once, his family asked him, “You have tremendous power! Why do you tolerate these people? Why not punish them and end their evil behaviors that torment you?” 
 

The holy Rebbe wisely answered, “All my spiritual abilities and powers are from them.” They grieve me and I remain silent. If I were to punish them, I would immediately lose all my abilities.” 
 

Every Jew needs to learn from these tzaddikim the trait of forgiveness. When a person is insulted and remains silent, he sweetens all the judgements that are upon from the Heavens. Hashem responds to our actions middah k’neged middah, measure for measure. When we feel wronged and overcome that emotion without punishing the offender, Hashem responds with the same forgiveness towards us for the times we have transgressed and thereby insulted His Honor. 
 

As Chazal taught (Rosh Hashanah 17a) that whoever forgoes his reckonings with others for injustices done to him, the heavenly court in turn forgoes punishment for all his sins. As it says (Micah 7:18), Who forgives iniquity and passes over the transgression…” Hashem “passes over” and overlooks the sins of those who overlook the insults done to them by others. 

An Atonement for the Soul

This is what Hashem tells Moshe: 
 

כי תשא את ראש בני ישראל – can be translated as ‘when you forgive for the Jewish people’, לפקודיהם- can be translated as “on their flaws”. When you overlook the flaws of others, the insults, the harm that they might have done to you, then, as the pasuk continues, ‘each one will give to the Lord an atonement for his soul when they will be harmed’, meaning that everyone will learn from the leader Moshe to forgive, and this will be an atonement for their soul. 
 

And then ‘there will be no plague among them’. Hashem will overlook the flaws of the Jewish people, and no plague will impact you. Rather, all the blessings you seek will be granted. 

*** 

The Kalever Rebbe is the seventh Rebbe of the Kaalov Chasidic dynasty, begun by his ancestor who was born to his previously childless parents after receiving a blessing from the Baal Shem Tov zy”a, and later learned under the Maggid of Mezeritch zt”l. The Rebbe has been involved in outreach for more than 30 years, and writes weekly emails on understanding current issues through the Torah. You can sign up at www.kaalov.org.