Tent of Jacob
Breslev Israel is delighted to host a major Chassidic Rebbetzen, Rebbetzen Shaindel Moscowitz, wife of the Melitzer Rebbe shlit’a, who gives a no-holds-barred dose of...
I once read a short article that humorous as it was, had more than a grain of truth in it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the hallway he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over and the throw rug was wadded against one wall!
The front room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, food was all over the floor, a broken glass lay under the table and a small pile of earth was spread near the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill or that something serious had happened.
He was met with soapy water as it trickled under the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap, and more toys strewn over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom he found his wife still curled up in the bed reading a book.
She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day had gone. He looked at her bewildered and asked “What happened here today?” She again smiled and answered, “You know, every day when you come from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?”
“Yes”, was his incredulous reply.
She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it!”
Which of you can say that your husband has not asked this question?
In order for your home to be a “tent of Jacob” rather than a menagerie you must continuously bear in mind three things:
1. That your home is run as a mikdosh me’at [1]– a sanctuary. The more your home approximates a Beis Hamikdosh[2], the more successful it is as a Yiddishe home. 2. That this is a home where the children (and the more the better!) are raised as ovdei Hashem[3]. And believe me that in itself is a full-time job!
3. That the home is a place of chessed – kindness and understanding, where the parents and children work continuously to make each other happy (and not themselves); (what you give is what you get).
And where there is understanding and consideration for each other there is calmness and peace.
The first point is the most fundamental and actually incorporates the other two.
A lot of the service in the Beis Hamikdosh [4] consisted of what we call “housework”. At the beginning of the day the ashes of the previous day’s fires had to be raked and removed and new fires prepared and lit. When the sacrifices were brought they had to be slaughtered and the blood gathered and sprayed against the alter; after that each sacrifice was burnt according to the purpose for which it had been brought and the roasted meat eaten by the priests. Finally the Beis Hamikdosh and all the utensils had to be cleaned and everything returned to its correct place. Does that sound familiar? Getting up in the morning and tidying the bedrooms, cooking and then washing the dishes after your family has eaten, and finally tidying and clearing everything away.[5]
And yet, with all this, the Beis Hamikdosh was, and always will be the holiest place for us Yidden, the place where Hashem’s Holy Presence rested.
This shows us that it’s not the type of work that makes something holy but the way it’s done. Doing Hashem’s will and keeping a kosher and proper home together with the kavonnos[6] in your mind and heart are what makes your daily tasks, not just repetitive housework, but an avodah[7] to Hashem. Fulfilling your tafkid as a woman is reckoned with the same holiness as if you had done the service in the Beis Hamikdosh.
When I say that you should have the proper kavonnos in mind when doing your housework it doesn’t mean thinking about it all day. All it takes is that before you begin in the morning (or whenever you remember) you should think to yourself “Hashem I am now going to go about my daily routine because this is Your will”, and that will transform all your work into an avodas hakodesh[8]. (Wow! What one simple thought can achieve)!
A Wise Woman
King Solomon said that “the wise woman builds her home (and the foolish one tears it down)”. And even though men are also involved in the building of a home it is the woman’s domain, and she is the one who does most of the building.
There are two parts to this posuk
1. The wise woman: A wise woman is one who thinks ahead and plans for her home; this means that she decides what type of home she wants to have and then works out how she will run it (usually by discussing this with Rabbonim[9] and Rebbetzens[10])
2. Who Builds Her Home: The woman is constantly involved throughout her life in the building, i.e. the maintenance and upkeep of her home because such a home must constantly be invested in.
And because the posuk[11] says “The wise woman” it means that only a woman can truly build a home.
* * *
[1] A miniature Holy Temple
[2] The Holy Temple in Jerusalem
[3] Faithful and dedicated servants of Hashem
[4] The Holy Temple
[5]Raking the ashes and removing them was such a holy and sought-after job that lots were drawn every morning as to which priests would have the honour of doing this job.
[6] Sincere intentions
[7] Service
[8] Holy mission
[9] Rabbis
[10] Rabbi’s wives
[11] Verse
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