The Laws of Family Purity

It is the author’s hope that this series will provide the reader with a comprehensive understanding of the fundamental laws of Hilchos Nidah, or family purity. It should serve to be of great help to newlyweds as well as those who have already learned the laws and who use this series as a guide for review.

Aside from bringing down the Halachos from the Shulchan Aruch and its commentaries, as well as from the contemporary Poskim, the author has tried to advise the reader when it is necessary to consult a qualified Rabbi (Rav) for further clarification. As stressed many times, it is of utmost importance for every family to have a Rav to rely on when Halachic questions come up.

It should be noted that the author has relied mainly on the Psokim of the Debrecener Rav, HaGoan HaRav Moshe Stern shlit”a and HaGoan HaRav Asher Zimmerman shlit”a to answer those questions where there were differences of opinion among the Poskim. (See footnotes for particulars.)

The author has indicated on each page the sources for all the Halachos (laws) mentioned. By consulting these sources, the reader can gain further insight into the Halachos.

The question and answer format of this series will make it easier for the reader to understand the various Halachos and concepts explained in the series.

It should be added that the reader should always look up any cross-reference since they provide additional pertinent information to the Halachos under discussion.

It is the Author’s fervent hope that this series will aid in the strengthening of the observance of family purity, not only for the observant, but that it will also reach the hearts and minds of those who are not familiar with the tranquility which comes from learning and observing our holy Torah, as it says in Mishlei (3) “Her ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace.”

Along this line of thought, this series first appeared as a booklet entitled “Arugos Habosem” based on the Posuk in Shir Hashirim (5) “His cheeks are as a bed of fragrant spices c’a’arugos habosem, like towers of perfume his lips, like roses dripping flowing myrrh.”

The Gemora (Shabbos 88b) says in the name of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi that the Posuk refers to the giving of the Torah on Mount Sinai, when the words of Hashem were like an arugos habosem ‘a bed of fragrant spices” which filled the entire world with their pleasant smell.

May it be the will of Hashem that the words of this Sefer be like an “arugos habosem” to those who learn them.

The Jewish people were chosen by Hashem to serve as a beacon of light for all the nations of the world. The Torah begins with the words “B’rieshis boroh Elokim” – Our Sages translate this as Breishis – “Because – of Yisroel who are called “reishis“, “boroh Elokim” – was the world created.

The medium given to us to help us attain this lofty goal is the Torah. Adherence to the Torah sanctifies us both as individuals and as a nation, bringing us closer to Hashem. The Torah which was given to us is a “Toras Chaim” a living Torah, whose laws govern every aspect of our lives. From the time we awake in the morning until we retire at night, all our activities are governed by the Torah, which is an all-encompassing guide for all situations that can arise. We must observe with equal fervor those laws which govern our behavior in the Bais Medrash, in the business world, and in our home with our family.

A soldier in the army must observe every minute detail which is given to him by his superior officers, whether he understands it or not, since any slight deviation from their orders could have fateful consequences. Similarly, Klal Yisroel, who are called the “Ligyono shel Melech“, “(the army of the King of Kings)”, must adhere to every detail of the Torah, which Hashem in His great wisdom gave to us.

Man was given the great privilege by Hashem to be able to have a share in the creation of new life. The Gemora tells us in Kiddushin (30b), “There are three partners in the creation of a person; Hashem, his father, and his mother.” Specific laws of marital conduct were, therefore, given to us by Hashem to govern this holy partnership, which can create new life. The Torah teaches us that the relationship between husband and wife becomes holy, and Hashem’s spirit can reside in their home when the mitzvohs are observed. By controlling our physical desires, we uplift ourselves morally to become partners with our creator.

The unique family relationship of the Jewish home and the peace that reigns therein are a direct result of our adherence to the Torah laws.

This series was written in English in this format, in order to benefit people of all backgrounds. Not only B’nei Torah, Kollel men, laymen, and their wives can benefit from it, but also people who are unfamiliar with Hilchos Nidah, or family purity laws, can gain the knowledge which will enable them to properly observe this very important mitzvoh.

By virtue of our adherence to these important Halachos, may we have the merit to build true Jewish homes with children who follow in the ways of the Torah. May we merit the speedy arrival of Moshiach in our times.

To be continued.

(Reprinted with kind permission of Yeshivat Neveh Tzion and www.neveh.org)