Sorry, Mister Missionary
Alice Jonsson didn’t become a Torah-lover because someone knocked on her door or forced a pamphlet on her. No one conned her, or got into a spiritual tug-of-war with her…
Today’s Bnei Noach are in an interesting position. We are a very small group of people comprised of former everythings– former agnostics like me, former Christians, former Muslims, former Buddhists, you name it. There are many rabbis and many Bnei Noach who want to get the word out about the Seven Universal Commandments, for the greatest of reasons. And I agree with them, not that they need me to, about how stupendous it would be and how vital it is that people understand what these commandments are, and that the Torah is true. Of course! But when I go beyond sharing my beliefs via this column and even think about proselytizing in more proactive ways, images of the some of the most annoying people on earth leap to the fore and I feel all panicky.
I live in the Bible Belt. It is therefore, not an uncommon occurrence to hear a little knock on the door and open it to find a person, usually an older lady or gentleman, holding a well worn Bible in their hand, looking to talk to me about their messiah. I interrupt them and say the following:
“Hi. Hold on, I’m going to interrupt you. I’m sure you are a nice person, but I’m not interested. Have an awesome day. Bye.” Door closes.
I don’t even let them utter a word beyond ‘hello’. I’ve got a two-year-old who needs me and I’m not talking crazy talk with random strangers who have managed to scale the baby gate at the top of our steps. The truth is, I feel kind of sorry for people who do this. To paraphrase my good friend Ingrid, clueless people don’t get it. And they don’t get that they don’t get it, by definition. It’s not that they are, in the depth of their souls, callous jerks, they are simply without a clue. That’s how I see these door knocker types. To paraphrase her further, we are all clueless about something, so we should be generous with one another. I think I can live with that.
I did not end up a devoted, Torah loving person because someone knocked on my door or because I picked up a pamphlet at the Laundromat. No one forced something on me, or conned me, or got into some spiritual tug-of-war with me. I ended up where I am through a strange confluence of events that I can’t really explain, events so strange they are the stuff of fiction, except in my case, non-fiction. The expression ‘The Lord works in mysterious ways’ resonates with me. But I ended up here by going down my own road, using my God given free will. I searched for answers and got them.
I write this column to share information about Bnei Noach, Hashem’s Torah, and the Breslev approach as I have lived it. I’m not an expert in anything, except in predicting when a sale is imminent at my favorite store, how to navigate my favorite modern art gallery, or where the good parking in DC is. None of these are important except the last one. With humility, I hope to help create community with Bnei Noach and Jews, to share what I’ve learned as a BT of sorts, and most of all to learn from others be they rabbis, authors, or regular people like me. I don’t ever, ever want to be seen as a clueless jerk who is attempting to shove her beliefs down someone’s throat. Please no.
While I can be a tiny bit generous in my heart with the nutty door-knocking types, the truth is missionaries have a really negative effect on the Jewish community.
Sorry, Mister Missionary, but you’re not cute or funny at all. You and your kind often use very sneaky techniques, lie in the name of the Lord, show up at events not to form community with Jews or to do something like remember the Holocaust, but to increase their numbers. You talk to confused old people and little kids. You bother Holocaust survivors, which makes me livid. And by the way, you also make it hard for me and my fellow Bnei Noach because people wonder who the heck we are. Are we at a synagogue to learn about Hillel or Maimonides, or to pray with people who also believe in Torah? Or are we the sneaky little liars posing as friends that Jews have to deal with, way too much of the time? On the rare occasion someone at a shul has wondered about me, and it has happened, it makes me feel so crestfallen and wounded I just shake my head at the cruel irony of it all. And then I keep going because this is not a religion for sissies, as I like to say.
So, how do we help people learn about Bnei Noach in a manner that isn’t aggravating, trivializing, disrespectful, or false? How do we help people to see that while there are new aspects to this movement, as it were, it’s also the oldest set of values on earth and there have always been people who lived by them? How do we make sure our actions never, ever reflect poorly on the Jewish community? Or insult someone’s intelligence?
I don’t know! Please share your ideas with me.
I do know this, our children watch what we do and copy us. They know that actions are what count, not what we say. I can control how I live in this moment and what I do for my fellow man. Judaism is a religion of action, of deed over creed. Perhaps the best way I can show the power of the Seven Universal commandments, is to try to be the most serene, honest, compassionate, trustworthy, forgiving, kind, happy, patient, humble, and generous person my friends know.
Editor’s note: Alice Jonsson is one of the most serene, honest, compassionate, trustworthy, forgiving, kind, happy, patient, humble, and generous people you’d ever want to meet – that’s why she’s doing such a wonderful job as Breslev Israel’s Noahide correspondent and ambassador.
10/30/2008
Response to Missionaries Hi Alice, Like you, I have been on a journey, a journey that doesnt yet make sense to me but will eventually. I am also a Noahide. I learn with an orthodox Jewish organization in NYC. I was raised Jewish (non Jewish mother, Jewish father) in the reform synagogue. I have closely known those in the Jewish community(observant and non observant) as well as those in the Christian community. I understand both sides well. I feel that Hashem is leading me to help join the Jew and Noahide together.
10/30/2008
Hi Alice, Like you, I have been on a journey, a journey that doesnt yet make sense to me but will eventually. I am also a Noahide. I learn with an orthodox Jewish organization in NYC. I was raised Jewish (non Jewish mother, Jewish father) in the reform synagogue. I have closely known those in the Jewish community(observant and non observant) as well as those in the Christian community. I understand both sides well. I feel that Hashem is leading me to help join the Jew and Noahide together.