The Power of Words

“I don’t know what I am going to do!” screamed Adi.  

“What’s the problem?” I asked.  

“We have this huge meeting. The entire marketing team is here. The CEO will be sitting in. Both our supervisors are on vacation and they asked me to draft a summary of what happens.” 

She looked genuinely worried.  

“Don’t worry. Just send them this and everything will be fine.” 

I jotted three words on a piece of paper, then handed it to her.  

She glanced, then laughed. 

“Thank you so much!” 

Limor, sitting at the other end of the room, had to know.  

“What exactly did you put on that piece of paper? How do you summarize a meeting in just three words?” 

Adi, smiling, turned the paper around for all to see: 

The Blog 

Este was deep in thought. She had this great idea to be one of the first Haredi women to create a hi-tech blog.  

But what should she call it? 

We all brainstormed. Then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit me.  

I wrote it down. Put it on a piece of paper, folded it, and then gave it to her.  

She saw it, smiled, and looked at me as if I handed her a thousand dollars.  

Then, she put it in her purse, right inside her wallet.  

How powerful are words?  

Put some on a piece of paper and give it to someone. See how they react. Watch what they do with that piece of paper.  

That’s the value of words.  

It’s So Easy to Forget 

One of the biggest challenges of the internet era is that we don’t appreciate the power of words. Since we spend so much time in front screens, we don’t see or feel how our words impact others.  

Watching “popular” people get thousands, even millions of Likes, Shares, and Views for their every post makes us feel small and powerless.  

We don’t feel like we are getting through to others, so we use more aggressive language to get a response. Take a look at the Comments section for a lot of posts, even news articles. You will be surprised at how far people go with aggressive wording.  

We don’t realize that we are hurting people. We don’t realize that we are committing a terrifying sin. If we say things that humiliate someone, then under Torah law, that’s committing murder. All the more so if the humiliating words are in public! 

To turn things around, we need to realize the power of our words. Baruch Hashem, there is a very easy and pleasant way to do it.  

The Most Effective Way to Get Feedback from Anyone 

The power of a good word is massive.  

When I read something inspiring, I’ll reach out to the author and tell them what a good job they did.  

Almost all of the time, they get back to me.  

Everybody loves a good word.  

After reading Rabbi Shalom Arush’s masterpiece on marriage, The Garden of Peace, I do my best to thank my wife as much as I can.  

Baruch Hashem, we have been married for 14 years and still going! 

When my kids do well, my wife and I make a point to compliment them. Their faces light up. When they misbehave, we will also say something. It pushes them to do better.  

Words help.  

Nobody is Above Praise 

The Sages say that one of the things we cannot do in this world is read another’s thoughts.  

How many times have you read about a famous, multimillionaire actor who has it all, and who is entering rehab for trying to escape his life through substance abuse? 

None of us knows how the other is feeling. We see one thing on the outside, even as there is something completely different on the inside.  

A cartoonist painted Facebook perfectly. He drew a picture of a mirror. Standing in the mirror was an apple. It was smooth, shiny, and full. The mirror reflected the beauty of the fruit. In the back, the part of the apple the mirror didn’t see, the apple was bitten into, its core exposed, pits falling out, and the insides were rotting.  

Even people we think should be happy because we see their money, power, influence, and popularity . . . can feel just as sad, empty, and helpless as the rest of us.  

Anyone you meet could use a kind word. Anything you say can and will make a difference in someone’s life.  

Kind words can be anything. They can be a simple “Good morning, Joe,” invoking their name. It can be a “thank you” for anything at all. It can be a genuine “That’s great, Mellissa,” even if, on instinct, you are seething with jealousy over what she just achieved.  

To be honest, if we took a personal accounting about the ten people we see most in a week and ticked off all the things we hate about them, there is probably a bonanza of compliments in there! 

The moment you say something good about someone to them, you can feel the light emerge from the depths of their spirit.  

Best of all, this is a huge mitzvah. Hashem smiles upon us. King David teaches,  

Who is the man who desires life, who loves days to see goodness? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceitfully. Shun evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it. (Psalms 34:13-15) 

Any of us can pile another twenty pounds of verbal manure onto the dung heap of a Comments section. We can share our anger with the world and add a little more darkness to it.  

We can also comment, email, or say to someone eye to eye what we appreciate about them. We can share our light with them, and Hashem will add of His own.  

*** 

David Ben Horin lives in Afula with his wife and children. Since moving to Israel, David has discovered Hashem, Torah, Emunah, hiking, coding GatsbyJS Apps and hearing stories about the Land of Israel from anyone excited to tell them. Email him your favorite Israel story at:  david.ben.horin@spreadyourenthusiasm.com.