PUSH! Don’t Stop Praying–Spiritual Weapons, Part 6

At the beginning of the harrowing divorce process, I had a family simcha in Israel. I used the opportunity to pray at every kever (burial site) I could possibly manage: Rav Kaduri on Har HaMenuchot, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai in Meron, Amuka, the Ari HaKadosh, Rabbi Meir Baal HaNess, the Rambam, Rabbi Akiva, the Ramchal, Shimon HaTzaddik, and more – even Rabbi Nachman of Breslev’s grandson. At the grave of each tzaddik I tearfully explained my plight, gave tzedakah and said Tehillim as well. I had compiled an extensive list of others who needed various yeshuot (major life salvation, such as finding a soulmate or having that long-awaited child), and I also prayed for them. 

Furthermore, throughout the divorce I relied heavily on my Tehillim (Psalms). The words that had once seemed so obscure opened up for me in my pain and terror. Sometimes I was numb and relied on Hashem’s mercy to add emotion to the words, sometimes I was screaming, other times I was singing, and often times the simplest reading brought streams of tears to my eyes. 

Those hours and hours of prayers were not wasted. In the past year, the three primary people I prayed for were each answered with their yeshua (salvation) – within 6 weeks of each other! Even for myself, there were more than a few times that I put my Tehillim down and was answered within minutes.  

I saw the power of prayer most transparently just as the divorce was being finalized. While we were waiting for our turn in the courtroom, I was sitting on a bench outside of the courtroom and for lack of space, he was sitting next to me (with a jacket between us) reading a newspaper. I kept repeating the chapters of Tehillim that spoke to me over and over, particularly the verse from Chapter 16 – “I place Hashem before me at all times, because He is at my side, I shall not falter.” I was so weak and shaky, I felt like I was going to faint at any minute – but this one verse gave me the strength to remain strong. 

At one point, he looked at me and said, “Would you please stop praying already? It’s enough!” I just looked back at him, then looked back down at my Tehillim through the tears I was holding back, thinking to myself, “It’s never enough, and I’m never going to stop” – and kept going. Just then, another seat opened up on another bench, and he quickly took the spot. I breathed a deep sigh of relief, and another woman came over and sat next to me. She looked at me, looked at the Tehillim, and said, “I heard you praying in Hebrew. You prayed him away from you!” 

Shortly thereafter I was informed that while the papers were signed and ready to go, we needed a different judge to actually “prove up” the divorce in open court. Usually, this was done weeks after the date the papers were signed, and in the meantime, my ex could still throw in some monkey wrenches to the settlement, or even cancel the agreement altogether. As you can imagine, that Tehillim came right back out and I prayed with renewed vigor for a miracle. Baruch Hashem, I was answered – less than an hour later I walked out of the second courtroom with the other judge who just “happened” to be on the bench at that hour with a freshly signed and stamped divorce decree. My lawyer said that in 25 years of practice, he had never seen such a thing!  

I also discovered the power of very small amounts of tzedakah (charity). During the most trying and painful periods of time, the Melitzer Rebbetzin would remind me to give 18 or 26 cents to tzedakah every day and ask Hashem for help, strength and that I shouldn’t be anxious or depressed. Here in Israel, I repeat this practice with 1.80 or 3.60 shekel. This seemingly small gesture always returned results and gave me a desperately needed lift. In fact, oftentimes I would begin forgetting my daily drop in the pushka (tzedakah box) within only a few days, because I was doing so much better and the pain was no longer aching in my heart. 

As Rabbi Natan of Breslev said, “Whenever I see deficiency, either I see no prayer, or not enough prayer.” There is a fixed amount of prayers that must be filled in order to receive what you want – call it a “spiritual price tag” of sorts. Oftentimes, the Evil Inclination tries to get us to give up just as we’re approaching the total sum of prayers that we need. Or, he will try to convince us not to start, and get us thinking that the amount of prayers needed must be too gigantic to ever reach! Just keep praying with persistence, and don’t give up!* 

This is especially true if you are praying about something for 30 minutes every day. Rabbi Arush says that there is NOTHING – no problem, no bad character trait, no lust, NOTHING – that cannot and will not be fixed with daily, persistent prayer. 

*Remember that it is crucial to pray with humility. Even though Hashem promises to fulfill your prayers, it is not because you deserve it now that you prayed so hard. Rabbi Arush explains this at length in his book The Wonders of Gratitude. 

Breslev Israel can send you a Chut shel Chessed tzedakah box, right to your home, for free! Email kupot@breslev.co.il to get yours!