Fighting is Absolutely Forbidden

Even if you think that you are right to fight – you are always wrong. Even if you think the truth is on your side, fighting is always a lie. Fighting is never worth it!

4 min

Rabbi Shalom Arush

Posted on 22.07.20

In the Gemara, Reish Lakish mentions that  Moshe  Rabbeinu  didn’t think about his honor at all – he only worried about how to end the conflict with Korach. He was the Admor of all the Admorim, the King, the leader – and he only cared about how to make peace. Moshe taught us all the Torah, so of course he knew everything. Moses knew that to be involved in controversy is forbidden by the Torah. Moshe himself never fought or argued with anyone, not even Korach and his assembly. Even if someone is arguing with you, you still have a mitzvah to not fight back with him, and instead, to mimic Moshe Rabbeinu and find a way to make peace! 


OK, so you have this problem, whatever. You have to analyze the problem and see what is the most important, and what is secondary. Making sure to have peace – that is the most important! You have to decide with absolute conviction: I am not prepared to lose shalom (peace) at any cost! You must tell yourself, “I am holding onto the trait of shalom. I love everyone. Now, I am going to search for a way to solve this problem, without letting go of shalom. 


If you will find a way to not to let go of peace, you will achieve everything that you want to achieve. And it will be with happiness and pleasantness! You will always succeed, because Hashem is with you. Hashem is peace, one of His names is shalom, so Hashem is with you. All of the tzaddikim are with you. You merit all this! You will see how everything will turn around for the best.  


How many times in my life did the Evil Inclination try to tell me, “You have to be strong with this!” And I responded, “No, everything with love. I am not prepared to let go of peace no matter what.” And everything worked out so well in the end. If G-d forbid I had listened to the Evil Inclination and not been strong in peace, who knows what would have happened. 


I want you to understand that when I say that we all want shalom – shalom means perfect love and unity between the parties. It does not mean a cease-fire! For instance, when it comes to shalom bayit  marital peace – we don’t just want peace and quiet between the partners. We don’t want them to just not fight. That isn’t peace – it’s a cease-fire. So too, we don’t just want quiet within the Jewish people and in the world as a whole. OK, the truth is, that zero would be just fine compared to the current situation – very good indeed. But that isn’t our real desire. We want real shalom – peace, love and wholeness in the Jewish people and the entire world 


If there was to be unity among the Jewish people, even if they were sinners, nothing bad could happen. The most important thing is that there shouldn’t be any separation between the Jews, and no different groups within the Jewish people. There should be only love! 


The Pele Yoetz writes that all of these divisions among the Jewish people  all these concepts are nothing. We are even in Israel. We aren’t in exile anymore! Wherever there is real yirat Shamayim (fear of Heaven), there is love within the Jewish people. If there isn’t love between Jews, then there is no fear of Heaven. 


Nothing matters anymore! What hat you wear, or type of kippah, or type of jacket, it’s all foolishness! It doesn’t matter who you are, or what city you live in, or whether you are Ashkenaz or Teimani or Persian or German or whatever. This is why King David was said to have “beautiful eyes,” because he only saw the good! That is why he is Moshiach! He loved all of the Jewish people! 


What really matters is only emuna, happiness, love, peace and unity! 


Shalom is a result of having emuna. It’s also the result of being connected to the truth. All of the good character traits are really one character trait, and all of the bad character traits, are also really only one character trait. Shalom – someone who has the trait of peace, it automatically means that he has perfect emuna. He also has the trait of truth, and he has appreciation, and he lets go of things. Someone who is always fighting with others is automatically someone who doesn’t have the trait of appreciation, he is involved in hate, he’s arrogant and full of heresy. It all goes together. I want everyone to work on your middot  good character traits. The basis of the entire Torah is treating other people properly! 


You don’t need to be wise to know that this is the truth. Once again, let me explain it to you: There is no such thing as being strong in truth, and also being involved in machloket (arguments and fighting). Someone who has the trait of truth doesn’t have anything to do with any controversy  ever! Only peace.  


So, if you do not have shalom, then you also don’t have truth. You don’t have emuna, either. You also don’t have humility. You don’t have the trait of love. You don’t have patience and you are an ingrate who doesn’t appreciate what you have or what anyone does for you. If you are involved in arguments and controversy, you don’t have anything! You live in lies and falsehood and you have no emuna. You are a heretic and you deny the Torah! You are… and you are… all the lies of this world and all the evil of this world. 


So tell me now, is it worth it to be involved in machloket? Is it worth it to speak about any person in this world?


If you are involved in machloket, know that you are involved in evil, lies, and arrogance. But if you are involved in shalom – peace and making peace, then you have the truth. Peace is happiness. Peace is emuna. Peace is humility. Peace is appreciating the good. All of the good in this world is peace! The real measuring stick of your good character traits is how strong you are in peace. If you aren’t strong in peace, then you are all of the worst character traits. Peace is also the measuring stick of your spiritual level as well! 


It should be Hashem’s will to know that peace is the most important thing in this world.  


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